Let’s face it. There are people in our lives that we would rather avoid and not spend time with. Why do we find these individuals draining? Is it just their annoying personalities? Well, that may be a bit vague and harsh, but perhaps they don’t share our values. Perhaps we don’t understand their life choices or how they see the world. It’s easy to talk negative, complain, or ignore these individuals, but how we choose to see them may be a part of the problem. It takes much more patience and energy to discover the good in people versus the bad.
We all have strengths and weaknesses and the will to do good or evil. Even when individuals are at their worst, try to see their redeeming qualities. Everyone wants to be acknowledged and appreciated. It sometimes just takes a little extra effort on our part to understand why they are reacting or responding that way.
The next time you are interacting with an annoying co-worker, coaching a poor performing employee, or dealing with a difficult customer, try to see the intrinsic worth in that person and situation.
1. First, focus on how to make the most out of that time with the individual.
2. Second, focus not on what you see—the outward appearance of the person–but on connecting consciously with them: feeling their pain, feeling their joy, feeling their potential.
3. Thirdly, focus not on “what’s wrong with them?” but on what makes them right– even in what you see as a weakness, discover at least one strength that makes them unique.
By seeing a special purpose, we add value to their life and our life as well. Through your support and empathy a connection is made that can transform the relationship. By shifting your perspective to what is right, you change your world, and who knows, you may be the one person to change theirs.